Self-diagnosis

My gay friend told me last night that I must have not gotten over my past relationship yet. I refused to believe him, but later I was convinced that he had a point. I should not have been bothered about the goings-on in his life after we broke up.

I actually don't care but I had reacted, and this act itself was a proof that I'm still affected. Well, maybe it was just my ego being attacked. But, whatever justification I may give, it still boils down to one thing---I care.

Absolutely, this "care" is born out from the respect I can pay to all the things that happened between us for almost two years. My gay friend said, it should not be thrown out to nothingness. At least, it deserves a good friendship. Then, he gave the idea of having a formal closure with him. A simple talk that aims to vent out all the unspoken emotions for the last time.

I'm not opposed to the idea. I guess, I'm pretty much prepared to face him, listen to whatever he says and after such tell him "Are you done? Is there any else you'd like to say?"

Feelings, according to Dr. Wayne Dyer, are not just emotions that happen to you but reactions you choose to have. He said, "If you are in charge of your own emotions, you don't have to choose self-defeating reactions. Once you learn that you can feel what you choose to feel, you will be on the road to 'intelligence'---a road where there are no bypaths that lead to nervous breakdown."

The decision to end our erroneous relationship was enough for me to learn to control my emotions. I am tired of choosing feelings that had just ruined my personality and relationships with other people. Such tragic experience was a great lesson for me to take charge of myself, "both thinkingly and emotionally".

I am all set to sail through the ocean without being worried if a storm shall come my way... I'm also looking forward to sail with someone beside me.